|Showtime's Cesare Borgia|
A couple TV shows in the last week have been about how humans have followed the herd to what was promised to provide happiness. Marriage, kids, a 60" smart TV. Instead of the joy promised, we are surprised by how sullen and stressed out we are. I would know. I was happy for a while. Every time I hopped into that pewter Blazer, I felt special. I bought a house on my own. Then a better one. Lovers, savings, no debt and an IRA. I had the world by the balls. Until I, and many others, didn't. I wasn't even the one who screwed it up. I fell just the same. Once carefree, now dark and ornery. The dawning: what am I doing? The Universe is vast and generous. It's only us who are short-sighted and stingy. Create a box we can live in because the enormity of it all is terrifying. It's not 1500. We can see the size of it. There. See? Just a speck on a tiny blue dot. So why burn another moment of our brief existence on anything but love and beauty? The silent but murderous pressure of conformity is extraordinarily hard to ignore. I know I'm happier on my own train, but I keep getting on the herd train. On the herd train I'm itchy and fidgety. I get lonely on my train. There's also freedom and peace.
We are so smart and so stupid at the same time. Knowing peace isn't in stuff, but strive for it anyway. We know we're screwing up the planet and consequently eliminating our own species, but keep dumping plastic in our oceans, carbon dioxide into the air. We can't seem to help ourselves. Desire is the design flaw. Wanting. Greed, lust, gluttony, envy. Earth will be here long after we've eliminated ourselves. Even if we leave it barren, which we are on track to accomplish. I am encouraged by those two shows and their message. A pinhole of light in a celebrity driven "reality" show nightmare. Maybe the dawn is coming for humanity? Can we do it? Save ourselves and this stunning world we live in? When a technological debacle with my 40" smart TV got resolved and I was able to sign back into Netflix resuming my obsession with Cesare Borgia, the relief that washed over me was tidal. Well, he is beautiful.